08 Jan No fixed moral compass
Generally I had always considered my life to be acceptable; I worked hard, earned well and had a large friendship group.
I was in my late 20’s when I had two major revelations in one night. The first was that my decisions, good or bad, weren’t resulting in anything “meaningful”. I realised that I was coasting through life making relationship, lifestyle, career and financial decisions ad hoc. Some of those decisions were profiting my life temporarily, other decisions were having a negative effect on myself and others. Inevitably all of those decisions were revoked a couple of years after I’d made them. What was I achieving and who was benefitting?
My second revelation was even more humbling: my sense of right and wrong had no fixed compass. In making my life decisions I was basing what I though was acceptable on what my peers thought. Other people’s opinions of me sometimes affected my choices but ultimately if someone disapproved of my choices I could simply exclude them. I was battling with my conscience and losing, I simply couldn’t justify my self-indulgent lifestyle by considering it “better” than those I judged “worse” than me.
And so that night I was faced with one life-changing decision: my way, or God’s way. I chose God’s way. I found a Church that lived what they preached, I studied the Bible, and found a fixed moral compass. Most importantly, I started a relationship with Jesus and realised that as He died to forgive all my wrong-doing, I know longer have to wrestle with my conscience and I parted with my well-hidden shame. Twelve years later my relationships are meaningful, I have found something to live for, my decisions are now made with purpose and godly wisdom. In Jesus I have found eternal peace and purpose. It was the best, and most enduring, decision I ever made.